How to Herd Transformers 101
by Tigressa101
Summary: Explore how the humans try to deal with their Cybertronian friends and what methods they use to "herd" their bots.


Optimus tried to reach for the large Energon container but the crane's hook it was attached on moved, making the Autobot Leader cry out angrily. He tried again and still the crane carried his treat away as it backed through streets, leading the semi somewhere.

Behind Optimus, Megatron and others like Grimlock, the Arcee Triplets, and Barricade followed. Some kicked others away so they had a better chance at obtaining the crate full of Energon that was being hauled from their reach every time they tried to grab it. Starscream and the other Seekers were kept at bay by a cargobob full of Energon that leaned away whenever the jets tried to ram the large aircraft.

The crane was operated by Epps who had the biggest smile the world had ever seen plastered on his face. Seeing Optimus so disappointed was the funniest thing ever because who knew the mech had that bad of a hissy fit when he didn't get what he wanted.

After a while, the semi got it in his head that biting the crane and its cargo was a better option than merely trying to catch the swinging crate.

"Whoa, whoa!" The human activated his radio, "Lennox, Big Buddha's getting angry. He's gonna start comin' after me in a minute if I don't give him the Energon. What do I do?"

Lennox's voice replied, "Keeping leading him and the others to the stadium. We need more time to prepare so go south a bit more."

Epps sighed, "If I get killed by Prime, I'm haunting your ass for all eternity."

"Noted." The radio died.

An eerie clicking sound caught his attention. He sourly peered to his left to see Slash, Dino, and Bonecrusher merging with the growing crowd of Transformers now drawn to the scent of the Energon.

"Oh hell no," he muttered before he cranked the shift into full throttle and began going backwards at a fast rate. "You had better be done with that experiment, Will, or you're going to hate life when it fails!"

He noticed how Optimus was at a jogging pace, still trying to bite the hook off the crate. Sideswipe came up on the mech's side but the Prime pushed him back greedily. It was rare to see the Prime in such a mood but he was determined to get the Energon and he wouldn't stand for anyone who unluckily got in his way.

* * *

A soldier by the name of Anthony held a chocolate in his hand and teased Blackout by quickly removing his hand when the bot snapped at him with impatient jaws. He could see the helicopter blades on the mech's back raising in frustration like an irritated Dilophosaurus.

"He's going to bite you if you keep doing that," Jack said as he leaned against a pole.

Jack was another soldier, a Marine more specifically. He and the others watched out for the sea-lurking Transformers and were trained on how Cybertronians act and how to counter each unyielding move. Though Blackout wasn't his charge, he knew teasing the helicopter would only end in disaster.

Anthony sneered, "Who the hell died and made you the Transformer king?"

"I'm just saying…"

The soldier distracting the mech let out a yelp and brought his hand to his chest, jumping up and down slightly. Jack heard a dark mechanical laughter emitting from Blackout as he moved closer to the soldier.

"See, what did I tell you? It's like when your mother tells you not to touch the stove, you don't do it! It hurts like a bitch!"

Anthony snarled at Blackout who slowly moved his head sideways curiously.

"Damn robot!" He turned to Jack, "And you, why didn't you stop him?"

"It's sort of hard to do that when you deny my advice and Blackout moves faster than any known human on the planet. Cybertronians are like bears, fuck with them and they'll strike back. It's so simple; a mentally handicapped person could figure it out."

"Fuck off!"

Jack couldn't contain a smirk as Anthony stalked away toward the exit, cradling his hand. The soldier then moved towards the mech and patted one of the blades hanging loosely next to Blackout's face. I think we gave him a great lesson, don't you?"

The helicopter grunted in Cybertronian while nodding his helm.

"Alright, big guy, make way for the cavalry; it's going to get chaotic in here within a few minutes."

* * *

Epps continued to evade Optimus' angry rampage towards him as headed straight towards the stadium where Lennox was waiting. Several others still trailed behind the leader but kept their distance for their own health.

During the ride, Optimus had clipped his crane's control box with both servos and teeth. There were now multiple lacerations upon the roof of Epps' cubicle, all done by the enraged Autobot who was still attempting to bite the crate of Energon dangling from the scarred hook. He never knew Prime was willing to cause so much damage to get a single Energon box greedily almost like his known morals never really existed. He seemed to be willing to harm a human or two along with it.

Finally, the stadium was only a few blocks away and the gateway to it was wide open. "Come on, come on!" Epps shouted as he saw Optimus get too close for comfort and a sickening scraping noise followed. The Prime lost a bit of speed but still kept within range. Epps knew the mech had added a new mark to the roof out of desperation.

Pedal to the metal, the soldier's vehicle flew backwards before running below the gateway to the arena with a mad Transformer chasing him. Megatron, Grimlock, and the others entered too only to slide to a halt when they realized what the stadium was being used for. Optimus, however, didn't stall.

As soon as Epps exited the open area, the gate slammed down, separating the semi-truck from his intended target. Optimus reared in frustration before backing into Megatron who was equally annoyed. Both let out grunts as more Cybertronians fell for the trap, piling in and thinking too late that it was a setup, not a game.

The arena's stairways and rows of seats were blocked off by eighty foot barriers, not even Grimlock could try to escape. Thirty-five Transformers in all growled angrily within, all pacing while human allies sat upon the barriers, peering down at their victory.

Lennox smiled, "Major Lennox to Diego Garcia Base Tower AT-807, we've successfully managed to lure a majority of them into the stadium. We'll get the others in due time. Should we tranquilize them for transport?"

"Copy that, Major," a voice responded, "Yes, it'll be easier to transport them under sedation. To be honest, I'd let them roam free in the city, give them something to call home other than this base. But I have no say in that, now do I?"

Chuckling, he nodded, "Yeah, but the world is still trying to get used to their presence. Letting them hijack an entire city and spooking every human in it isn't a great solution to the problem. We'll give them a proper jungle-city mixture home soon enough but things like this take time. For now, we need to convince Optimus and Megatron to hold out a little longer before things get really out of hand."

"Like the city becoming a playground for aliens isn't considered getting out of hand?"

"No, it's not the worst possible thing to happen. Will the transports be here in less than an hour?"

The operator replied, "Yes, Major, they are in route right now, heading to your location as we speak."

"Thank you, over and out."

Lennox set his radio back in its holster before walking to his Lieutenant's side, still keeping his gaze on Optimus who was letting the Arcee Triplets stay on his shoulders so they wouldn't get crushed by the furious corralled mechs. His blue optics set ablaze by the fires of wrath. Others were similarly climbing up to one another to escape the trampled ground. Smaller bots clung to larger mechs for protection.

The Lieutenant clicked his tongue, "They are such fascinating creatures. They react more animal-like than a chimpanzee and yet they still maintain intelligence in their acts, like calculating predators."

"Your meaning, David?"

"I mean they are superior in every way in which we could only dream of being. Women of our species give live birth, all of these 'machines' can do both live birth and egg-laying. Eggs for protection and storage, birth for when they feel the time is right for their children to enter this universe. They have a choice, and they are born with such a complex net system that it will take us centuries to even reach the development stage of their technology. They are superior. They are the perfect species known."

Lennox knelt on one knee to observe the Cybertronians closer. "You got that right."

* * *

Leo smiled as Drift, Lockdown, and Ratchet didn't falter from his gestures. The three mechs obeyed though occasionally pushed one another to get ahead. When Ratchet got irritated, he would attempt to charge forward but the human placed his hand out to stop and reluctantly, the medic heeded.

Leo shot up both hands to halt when all three became restless and slowly their sights followed his palms like there was an invisible force preventing them from contravening his motions. He could hear Lockdown's rattling breaths; he was waiting to counter this hypnotic movement. His eyes met with prominent green, challenging him to back down. For once, he felt no cowardice towards the menacing bounty hunter and stood his ground, still having his hands posed to control the mechs.

Steadily, he moved around a curve, freezing to let the three catch up and still believe they were under the influence that he was master now. Behind him, a tunnel lay only a block from his position. Inside lead to a carrier that could hold a couple Cybertronians, all the size of Megatron. If they could only get Sentinel lured here, the cargobobs designated to transport the carrier could actually fly off with what they were sent to retrieve faster. They only had about thirty minutes before the aircrafts arrived and took everything back to Diego Garcia. Any bots left behind had to wait until they returned tomorrow, for they were only scheduled for a one round trip.

Drift was the first to enter the tunnel at a running pace, for Leo had decided his ruse was taking too long despite being more effective than originally thought. The samurai acknowledged that he had no choice but to be loaded into a large tanker crate while Ratchet and Lockdown thought otherwise. Though Ratchet made it through with a snarl meant for the human, Lockdown halted in the tunnel, backing away from his forced destination.

The bounty hunter turned to leave but saw two tanks with tranquilizing darts in their barrels waiting for the mech to try to escape. He knew he had no choice but to submit, much to his disgust. Growling, he turned back again, sighing as he met the other two inside. He didn't even pay the human a single glance as he sat down in defeat.

It was amazing how Transformers acted when they knew they were beat. They literally just sat and pondered on where they went wrong or how they failed to note any other possible escapes they could have used beforehand. Of course, leaders like Optimus and Megatron did different. They were gods of war; they never submitted unless they were incapable of conflicting harm or dead. Others tried to be like that but without a solid plan, most didn't want to risk something going wrong.

As the door to the carrier shut closed, a faint stomping was heard and several soldiers looked at the ground like they would die at any second. The sound of a building having chunks torn off echoed through. Suddenly, Sentinel, looking foul and angered, ran towards them, giving a hoarse roar as he jogged. Upon his shoulders, Mikaela and Carly held rope that when tugged one way seemed to steer the charging mech in the wanted direction like a horse with reins.

The blonde gave a loud cheer as she pulled her end, making the elder bot turn a full three hundred and sixty degrees for fun. If there was such a thing as Cybertronian cruelty, this notion of control would be a high ordeal. Like cowgirls fighting to stay on a vicious bull, both women held on tightly and kept balance with every move. They eventually lead the old Prime into the tunnel as the door was reopened and right as they entered, both pulled the reins and made the mech slide to stop.

Hopping off the unsettled Transformer, Mikaela smiled, "How's that for an entrance?"

"Alright," Leo frowned, "if you're trying to use him as your own personal show pony."

"I was…it was the best method we could come up with to get him in here in time! You boys left us with nothing to control him with so we improvised!"

"Right. Next time, try to lure him without forcing him physically! And get those reins off him! He looks like an old circus horse that's a human amusement toy!" The human scorned.

Mikaela rolled her eyes below whistling, the Prime lowering his head to her and she began removing the rope that bound him to their service.

* * *

All the humans gathered to watch the many aircraft collect all the Cybertronians that have been secured inside shipping crates and specially made carriers. It was a job well done. The sun was setting and in its glow, the carriers all flew away into the dawning night that was prepared to come.

"Great works, guys…and gals!" Lennox smiled, "Tonight, all drinks are on me!"

The soldiers cheered and whooped before settling once more.

On cue of the silence, a roar sounded behind them that seemed to be lost in the streets of the city. All eyes widened at this and many frowns were visible upon the humans' faces. Slowly, all turned to look at the orange skyscrapers in the distance.

Epps let his arm drop in disbelief, "You missed one, Major."

Another roar sounded with a grunt trailing behind its echo.

"W-who did we miss?" Lennox stuttered.

Jack was the only soldier with a smirk wide upon his face, "Oh Lennox, I think Tigressa's not a happy camper with her prey finally gone."

The realization of that statement hit all of them hard. With the Cybertronians in the city, their combined scent attracted her. She ate Cybertronians and since the city's been evacuated, now including the Transformers, there was no one left to hunt except the only remaining humans in the city, them. Unfortunately, their plane was late because it couldn't arrive at the same time as the cargo holders and lifters. It was an hour behind which meant…they were stuck in the city with Tigressa for a whole hour.

Lennox just continued to stare at the settling buildings that now had a monster among them. He dropped his gun as he continued to "savor" the mere size of their new problem.

His look of "someone-was-murdered-in-front-of-my-eyes" stayed as prominent as ever as he moaned, "Fuck."

* * *

**AN: There are probably many ways to herd Transformers but these are the main methods, with the last one being somewhat Cybertronian abuse. How will Lennox and the other humans escape? I don't know but let's hope they don't get eaten!**


End file.
